On the Happy side of the Curve

Everyone has heard about the jokes. All married men will joke about their lives and tell all their single friends; Don't do it.

I along with some of my closest friends am lucky to have been married for over 15 yrs.
So recently I am in a bar with someone who is new to marriage, and has a small child. He is in the stressful period of his marriage. He cannot understand why our group is always happy, able to drink on Friday nights, play soccer whenever we want and generally not your typical husband types. We also tell the baddest marriage jokes possible.

The answer came as a shock to him.
You see my friends we have put in the time!!!! Now for all of us its our wives who aren't happy. In the marriage the tide has turned. The leverage is gone. We are on the happy side of this marriage. We are so far in, that the wives can't leverage us.
They know if they said they were leaving tomorrow, we would help them pack and it wouldn't be as crushing as it is when people get divorced. They also know we aren't going to divorce them, but if they want to we want stop them or change to keep them.
So now the wives are always grumpy. The leverage is on our side. They know deep down they need us and they know we are also probably not going to need them as much.
Ofcourse it helps to have a friend who is dating a girl 20+ yrs junior. If I knew the attraction of old men to young women, I would have gotten older sooner.

Words

People have two views on words. Depending on situations you will hear two different things. Words are just words. This is usually used when they don't want you to be offended or when they want to diffuse a situation. The second version is words matter. This is used to emphasize beliefs or philosophies or legal cases.

Recently I have been wondering which group or side can I belong to. Do I have to pick a side? Can a situation dictate the response? I like the idea of having a clear belief. I like black or white positions. I don't like to have principles that rotate. So where do I stand? Do words matter?

Lets examine the two situations. Recently a bunch of Muslims in Malaysia burned down Christian churches because the courts allowed them to use the word Allah to represent their God. Apparently only Muslims can use the word Allah. As a Muslim I know Allah means God. So why is it so offensive when a Christian refers to his God as Allah? In this instance I am on the "its only words!!!!!"

This week my friend and I went to see the movie "The Book of Eli". The movie was about the last bible and the need for it to be saved in the post nuclear war world. The idea being those who wanted to obtain the book, did so because the power of the words. They could move the masses. In that scenario where the masses cannot read, the one with the power to preach could rule. The message became a weapon. In such an instance, as in most illiterate societies words do matter. I am on that side.

So how does a person such as I, wanting a clear position pick one? It seems I should be torn.
In our current world many words are politically incorrect and can cause a lot of hurt. Words between children can do a lot of harm. Calling a child stupid, fat, etc can be harming. So it would be logical to conclude words matter.

The kicker; I don't believe WORDS MATTER. WORDS ARE JUST WORDS!

Words are like guns. Guns by themselves can't kill. Guns loaded and fired by someone can kill.

Intentions are the bullets. Your intent for using the particular words makes words dangerous.

As with guns, education is the key in owning words. We must educate people thus making words safe for all.

Two quick jokes

Here are the two quick jokes which married men get, and single men don't. Humor is all about cynicism. You have to be secure to wear Pink if you are a man, just as you need to be secure to tell these jokes if you are married to your wife. I have told both to my wife and laughed out loud. She just gave me the face, which made me laugh even more.

Why did Tiger Woods cheat? Cause he is married.
Why are divorces so expensive? Cause they are worth it.

Happy New Year

Sarcasm and anger have been the norm around here. The start of new year and new decade should be a time to start anew.
Heres wishing all a happy new year.
In a world gone amiss, let this be a place of reliability. Depend on the same sarcasm and anger.